Srsly effed up

Will and Kelsey are camping with my parents. They left on Monday and will come back on Saturday. What I have asked myself since I got home on Monday night is wtf is wrong with me? I have no kids. I should be doing things that people that have no kids do. (What do people that have no kids do?) Instead, I find myself a little out of sorts.

Next Monday, I am going in for foot surgery. What this means it that I'm basically useless for two weeks. The first few days, I can't even go to the bathroom without help. It's srsly fun, ppl. So without the kids here to drive me fraking crazy entertain me with their cute children antics, I'm slowly driving myself crazy. Eight weeks of being laid up is not my idea of a good time. And although I'm not the biggest exercise advocate, that doesn't mean that I don't want to do it once in awhile. Instead I'll be sitting on my butt eating kettle chips and drinking gatorade, watching re-runs of Buffy while being doped up on pain pills.

Good times.

In addition to worry to the point of making myself physically ill, I've also decided to worry about whether Jack will actually stick around after my surgery when I'm as loopy as, well, a fruit loop. Even though he hung around two years ago when I had the same surgery, I keep flashing back to when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. He settled me on the couch with the doctor's warnings (don't leave the patient alone, she might walk out into traffic and get hit by a car) ringing in his ears, gave me the remote and went to play 18 holes of golf. After that, I decided to plan a spa day when I brought him home from getting his wisdom teeth pulled.

To top it all off, Jack got me at a weak point (read: drinking point) on Friday night when I was in Newport Beach. He asked me if I wanted to play softball b/c they needed an extra girl. He cajoled me with the fact that it will be the last time I'll be able to do anything for eight weeks. Being the happy person I am when I was drinking, I enthusiastically agreed that it would be great. I wouldn't even have to worry about the kids b/c they weren't home. Now I can only hope that when the forecasted thunderstorm hits, I'm not up to bat with a piece of metal in my hand while lightning strikes.

Just a little warning...any posts up over the next two weeks will be done while under the influence of pain medication. If it doesn't make sense, at least it will be entertaining.